How to motivate with joy

Joy is incredibly important, it’s more than just a fleeting feeling, it’s a powerful motivator that drives loyalty, engagement, creativity, and resilience. When we experience joy, it fuels our energy, inspires growth, and promotes overall happiness. Understanding what brings joy to your team, your family, your workplace, your social circles, and most importantly yourself, is essential. Paying attention to these sources of joy allows us to cultivate environments where people feel valued, motivated, and energised, creating a positive ripple effect that extends to every aspect of life.

Yet, while everyone knows what joy feels like, few pause to consider what actually builds it, or what can diminish it. Joy is our personal energy reservoir, and when it runs low, we can feel sad, drained, frustrated, or even angry. Living without topping up this essential energy prevents us from fully enjoying life and being our best selves. Importantly, we cannot truly give joy to others unless we ourselves are filled with it, without replenishing our own joy, there’s nothing extra to share. Recognising, nurturing, and protecting our sources of joy is therefore crucial, not just for ourselves, but for the well-being of those around us.

Creating joy deliberately is a skill we can all develop, by noticing what lifts our spirits and seeking it out regularly. This may mean prioritising time with loved ones, engaging in hobbies, celebrating small wins, or simply practising gratitude for the present moment. Similarly, it is just as important to identify and minimise the factors that drain our joy, such as unnecessary stress, negative environments, or self-critical thinking. By consciously managing what enters and leaves our energy reservoir, we can ensure that joy becomes a sustaining force in our lives, one that not only carries us through challenges, but also inspires and uplifts those we encounter.

You can’t give joy to others, unless you are topped up and have excess joy to give.

Ways to energise & absorb more JOY

• Engaging in nice, fun enjoyable things

• Receiving things such as food, drinks, treats, gifts,

• Pleasurable activities, relaxing, watching a movie, a massage or afternoon tea

• Connecting with others, good family, children, supportive friends, a sense of belonging

• Peace, safety, calm, time out to pause, reading, learning, quiet time

• Happy company, belonging to a positive crowd

• Being positive and grateful for what you have

• Equality and kindness, receiving the same back (or more) as what you give out to others

• Appreciation, giving, and receiving thankfulness

• Fun and laughing

• Being creative (without judgment from self or others), dancing, music, art or singing

• A sense of achievement – a person win, overcoming a weakness, or learning something new

• A sense of helping others, giving joy, doing good or making a difference to the world

• Winning, succeeding, a sense of achieving progress or a goal

• Being in nature or spending time with animals

• Being very social if you are an extravert

How we feel when we are topped up:

Inspired, happy, motivated, energised, generous, helpful, supportive

These are the qualities that make our interactions richer, our work more effective, and our relationships stronger. When we approach life from a place of fullness, we naturally lift others, encourage collaboration, and create an atmosphere of positivity and growth. Being topped up with joy is like having an internal battery fully charged, it powers not only our own actions, but also the energy we share with those around us.

Things that drain our joy

You cannot share joy with others if your own reserves are running low. When we feel a sense of lack, it can show up in many areas of life, insufficient food, safety, finances, or a home, as well as limited time, health, rest, relaxation, happiness, peace, space, success, satisfaction, support, or a sense of belonging. These gaps drain our energy and make it difficult to approach others with generosity, positivity, or encouragement. Things that drain us include:-

• Worrying about consequences or bad scenarios

• Drinking, taking recreational drugs

• Lack of physical or mental energy, exhausted, eating a bad diet, lack of sleep (or broken sleep)

• Stress, tension, anxiety

• Being serious and focusing too much on serious, negative topics

• Absorbing anxious negativity eg. news, social media themes, the films you watch, the book you read

• Being busy, no time to rest or time to oneself

• Anger, resentment, frustration, jealousy

• Grief, fear, loss, sadness

• Being bullied, excluded or abused (physicially or mentally)

• Being constantly judged or assessed for achievement

• Being policed, scrutinised, reprimanded, berated, punished or criticised for doing a bad job

• Competition with others, comparing to others success

• Striving to reach or maintain a high standard, perfectionism

• Being responsible for others’ safety or welfare, directly or indirectly

• Working hard, being physically or mentally active

• Losing, failing, not succeeding as well as you’d expected

• Thinking about lots of things or something complicated, learning new things

• Being too social if you are an introvert

How we feel when we are low on joy:

When our joy levels are low, it affects every part of our lives and how we interact with the world. We may feel apathetic or depressed, weighed down by a low mood or sadness, and struggle to find motivation or inspiration. Negative emotions like anger, worry, or anxiety can take hold, leaving us exhausted and drained. In these states, we may become more self-focused, taking from others rather than giving, and our relationships, work, and wellbeing all suffer. Low joy doesn’t just make life feel heavy, it limits our energy, our creativity, and our ability to connect meaningfully with those around us. Recognising these signs is the first step to replenishing our joy and restoring balance.

We can feel depressed due to anxiety, which eventually takes its toll on draining our energy. Depression is also triggered when activities that are supposed to bring us joy are tinged with ways that drain us, such as wanting to win something (joy) but the process to get the win brings worry, stress, hard work, feelings of competition, comparing to others, assessing performance, feelings of beration at not being perfect etc. Sometimes the cost of the joy, drains more joy out of you than you receive. If you cannot see any ways of building joy without doing activities that will drain you more, you get stuck in a cycle of joy drainage that you cannot see your way out of and chronic depression sets in. Learning ways to create joy without the cost being more than you receive, is a mindset life skill and will keep you health in mind, body and spirit.

 Summary

Motivate yourself and those around you, whether your team, family, or social group, through joy, not through dictation, berating or criticism. People respond to encouragement, inspiration, and positivity far more than to reprimands, punishments, threats or pressure. By focusing on what brings joy, you create an environment where energy, creativity, and collaboration can flourish. Look for opportunities in your household, friendship group, or workplace to recognise achievements, celebrate small wins, and share moments of laughter and connection. When joy is the driving force, motivation becomes natural, sustainable, and deeply rewarding for everyone involved.

The first and most important place to cultivate joy, however, is within yourself. Use the “build list” as a guide to identify what energises you, what lifts your spirits, and what replenishes your reserves. Be inventive and experiment, try new routines, explore hobbies, or simply make space for reflection and gratitude. Observe the impact of these efforts not only on yourself, but also on those around you. You may be surprised at how nurturing your own joy ripples outward, inspiring your family, friends, and colleagues to grow their own sense of happiness, engagement, and fulfilment. Joy, when cultivated consciously, becomes both a personal resource and a shared gift.