#5 Feminine Wardrobe Assertive Look Essentials
What you wear isn't going to magically make you assertive. But there is something to be said for putting on an outfit that makes you stand a little taller, feel a little more confident and think, "Yep. I've got this." Clothes can influence how we feel about ourselves, how we present ourselves and even how comfortable we feel walking into a room. But an assertive wardrobe doesn't have to mean sharp suits, high heels or dressing like you're about to take over the boardroom.
Your assertive look should still feel like you.
Maybe you're feminine. Maybe you're sporty. Maybe you're edgy. Maybe you're colourful. Maybe you live in jeans and trainers. Maybe you love a dress. Maybe you're somewhere in between. The point isn't to dress for somebody else's idea of a confident woman. It's to create a wardrobe that helps you feel confident being yourself.
Here are five essentials to get you started.
1. The outfit that makes you feel unstoppable
Every wardrobe needs an outfit that you know works. Not necessarily your most expensive outfit. Not necessarily the most fashionable. The one you put on and immediately think:
"I feel good in this."
It could be a great pair of trousers and a blazer, your favourite dress, jeans and boots, a jumpsuit or even a really good top that always gets compliments.
The important thing is how you feel wearing it.
Keep it ready for the days when you need an extra confidence boost — an important meeting, presentation, interview, difficult conversation, first date or simply one of those mornings when you need reminding that you're actually quite fabulous.
2. A great pair of trousers — or whatever makes you feel comfortable
You don't need to wear a skirt or dress to look feminine, and you certainly don't need to wear heels to look powerful. A really good pair of trousers, jeans or tailored trousers can instantly make an outfit feel pulled together. Find a shape that works for your body and, more importantly, one that you can actually move and breathe in. Because there's nothing assertive about spending your entire day secretly wondering whether your trousers are digging into you.
Comfort is confidence.
If you feel physically comfortable, you're more likely to focus on what you're actually doing rather than constantly adjusting your clothes.
3. A jacket or blazer that gives you presence
A good jacket can completely change an outfit.
Throw one over jeans and a T-shirt and suddenly the outfit has structure. Wear it over a dress and it can make the look feel more confident. Pair it with trousers and you've got an instant smart outfit. But don't feel restricted to traditional black.
Try a colour you love, an interesting texture, a cropped shape, an oversized style or something with a little personality. The idea is to find something that gives you that feeling of "I've arrived." And if a traditional blazer isn't your thing, don't wear one.
A leather jacket, denim jacket, cardigan, utility jacket or structured coat can give you exactly the same feeling.
4. A statement piece that says something about you
Assertiveness is partly about being comfortable enough to let your personality show. So have something in your wardrobe that is unmistakably you.
It might be colourful shoes, a bold necklace, statement glasses, a fabulous handbag, patterned trousers, a bright lipstick, a favourite scarf or a piece of jewellery that has a story behind it. It doesn't have to be loud. It just needs to make you feel like yourself.
Sometimes one little detail can stop an outfit feeling like a uniform and turn it into your outfit.
Don't underestimate the power of wearing something simply because you love it.
5. Shoes you can actually stand your ground in
Let's talk about shoes. High heels can look amazing — if you love wearing them. But they aren't a requirement for confidence. Your assertive shoes might be boots, trainers, loafers, flats, sandals or a pair of heels that you can comfortably walk, stand and strut around in.
The most confident shoe in the world is the one that doesn't have you hobbling towards the nearest chair after ten minutes.
You should be able to walk into a room comfortably. Stand comfortably.
Move comfortably. And leave comfortably.
You don't need to suffer for your outfit to look powerful.
And here's the real secret...
Your most assertive wardrobe essential isn't actually a piece of clothing.
It's knowing what you like.
Fashion can be fun, but you don't have to follow every trend.
You don't have to dress for your age.
You don't have to dress to look thinner.
You don't have to dress to look younger.
You don't have to dress like everyone else.
And you certainly don't have to wear something uncomfortable because somebody decided it is "flattering".
If you love it, wear it.
If you feel fantastic in it, keep it.
If you don't feel like yourself in it, ask yourself why you're keeping it.
Your wardrobe should work for you, not the other way around.
Dress for the woman you are — not the woman you think you're supposed to be
Assertiveness isn't about dressing aggressively.
It's not about trying to look intimidating.
It's not about dressing like a man to be taken seriously.
And it's not about hiding your femininity.
You can be feminine and assertive.
You can be glamorous and assertive.
You can be sporty and assertive.
You can be colourful and assertive.
You can be casual and assertive.
You can wear pink.
You can wear black.
You can wear trainers.
You can wear heels.
You can have short hair, long hair, no make-up, loads of make-up — whatever makes you feel like yourself.
There isn't one visual template for a confident woman.
The most assertive thing you can wear is something that makes you feel comfortable enough to stop worrying about whether other people approve.
So next time you're getting dressed, don't just ask:
"Does this look good?" try asking: "Do I feel good?"
Because when you feel comfortable in your own skin, you're already wearing one of the most powerful things in your wardrobe:
confidence.